I’m sorry guys. I blew it big time with my last product article. That one guy who wrote me an email, Lars, was totally right. I’m an asshole and it’s my obligation to go make my homework and get to know all the technical specifications that flow into a snowboard in the year of 2013. Here’s an sincere and honest apology, Lars, I hope this following product preview for K2 Snowboarding’s 2013/2014 Hit Machine deck will float your boat.
The upcoming K2 Hit Machine is going to be the new standard in team driven freestyle snowboarding. First of all it’s got the K2 Snowboarding Tweekend™ full tip to tail rocker function. By extending the Baseline rocker all the way out to the absolute ends of the board, this Tweekend™ Basile will take care of you with a complete new ride-able surface, giving you a bigger, more stable platform to press, float and land on. Also, the Hit Machine got K2’s patented Hybritech construction. Well, of course I meant Hybritech™ construction. My bad. Hybritech™ is the most efficient way to make a snowboard without sacrificing one ounce of performance. Featuring sidewall along the running surface that flows into the nose and tail providing low swing-weight, optimized turn initation, and durability. The shape of the K2 Hit Machine is Hyper Progressive, and the core is named W2. W2 is a wooden core with three species of renewable wood which are assembled to optimize strength, reduce weight, and enhance damping without the addition of other materials. Speaking of damping, the K2 Hit Machine has a standard damping. Which brings me to the Hit Machine glass technology, Triax/Biax. Triaxial glass technology is a glass laminate which diagonal layers that stiffens the board torsionally. Giving you improved edge hold and increased stability for those off-axis landings. Biaxial glass technology is the classic structure laminate and provides the smooth, all-purpose performance. Both combined is just nothing but fucking awesome. Especially if you then take a look on the additives. NEW Carbon Web™! Hell yeah. Carbon Web is designed specifically to enhance Baseline technology and brings the pop and snap of carbon closer to your bindings for maximum ollies and control in every freaking situation. Hell yeah. The base is a 4000 Sintered base, which is the fastest natural base material that’s currently available. And it’s exceptionally durable and absorbs deeper and retains wax longer riding in all situations. Moreover Danny Larsen is riding this board which should actually be enough info for you little brats to buy the damn thing, by the way.
At the end I also want to mention K2 Snowboarding’s own blurb for their Hit Machine. They say it’s like your favorite record that never fails to satisfy you; it’ll be like that one piece of music which you put up on your record player and your instantly stoked. What beautiful word choice.
I hope you this little product was helpful for you guys. Especially I hope it was helpful for Lars, that vapid little wanker. If I forgot something, check out www.k2snowboarding.com. It will help you out 24/7.
And if you haven’t already, check out Danny above. As first a little chitchat, then some mind melting stunts, and everything filmed with the RED Epix-X and that fancy new Phantom cam.